Interesting that the below somehow couldn't get past FB's (apparent) censors. Odd, since nary a swear word in the mix. I would hate to see FB go the way of Fox, which carefully scrubs out (or doesn't post) comments that contains words they don't like (generally words unkind to Fox or conservatives or Republicans, though apparently one CAN refer to Obama by the "N" word in a comment with ease. But even Foxicans have had to resort to creative posting to get some of their comments through. Guess 2nd amendment rights trump 1st amendment rights. Pretty sad all the way around. Anyway, the URL for the article I *tried* posting, to no avail, on Facebook.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/7695404/sarah_palins_wtf_moment_causes_a_few_pg3.html?cat=62
30 January 2011
...you ask me for a contribution...
To help alleviate some of the pain that political elections cause the mind, body, soul, and digestion system every 2 or 4 years, what we need in this country is An Every Incumbent Left Behind Act. Because frankly, this town really does need an enema.
UNENCUMBANT ACT OF 2011
The purpose of this act is to ensure that all voting citizens will be able to choose from a pool of candidates who exhibit common sense and stylish shoes, are well educated, rational, articulate, honest, well-coiffed, well-manicured, and just plain spiffy if solemn. (There are too many fugly people in Congress already. Don’t let any more in!) To assure all these requirements are met, from this day forward the following should become law of the land:
1) No one with the first name, maiden name, or surname of Bush, Kennedy, Kerry, Clinton, or Palin can run for higher office. Ever.
2) The name and person of Kenneth Starr shall be erased from mankind and history. So let it be written; so let it be done.
3) No candidate can have an income of more than $150,000 a year in the 10 years preceding running for office. It's about time the average American was actually represented BY an average American. All nominees must also have worked in the fast-food industry for at least 2 years at some point in their working career and have earned Employee Of The Month at least once during that time of employment.
4) All presidential candidates must be single and remain single while they serve. This way if the president wants to diddle someone with a cigar, it won't require 40 million dollars of taxpayer money to prove it. We might also be spared the hysterical ravings of the lunatic far left and far right who tout “family values” with one hand and fondle their or someone else's genitals with the other. It might also help keep certain members of Congress's legs in their *own* bathroom stall when they need to make use of public restroom facilities. Or deter them from going on 'weekenders' to South America while the rest of the state they supposedly represent wonders where the hell their representative IS.
5) Anyone running on a platform of “family values” or “traditional values” is immediately disqualified. Then stoned to death.
6) All candidates will be required to take a world geography and a spelling test.
7) Candidates will admit they inhaled. Often.
8) Everyone serving in the House, Senate, and White House must supply their own transportation and pay for their own vehicle, its maintenance, and gasoline usage. They'll be provided vouchers if they use public transportation. They must fly coach or business class, and have to stay at Holiday Inns when traveling domestically and in hostels when traveling abroad. They must pay for their own meals and the meals of special interests toadying up to them.
9) All lobbyists and special interest groups will be given 90 days to chose a new career path, after which time they will be burned at the stake or sent to North Korea.
10) All political parties will be abolished. No more Democrats, No more Republicans. No more Tea Party Patriots, No more Libertarians, Civiltarians, Vegetarians, Greenians, Martians, Lilliputians, or Rastafarians (well, maybe we'll keep Rastafarians). No more bullshit. Candidates run on their own merits with their own best ideas for their country’s betterment, not their party’s.
11) Taxes cannot be raised until 75% of the voting public agrees on the taxation, and those taxes can only be used to meet the needs of transportation, health, public safety (which includes police, fire, hospital), infrastructure, education, housing, and footwear. All social programs will be funded solely by voluntary taxation. You get to choose where your tax dollars go. No longer will you be forced to help pay for a billion-dollar bridge to nowhere or Donald Trump’s next bankruptcy.
12) All private and public contributions to all candidates will be banned forever. Candidates will be given 7 free airtime dates, an hour in length for each, on both network and cable news stations. The final 5 candidates will engage in 3 televised debates in which average citizens ask the questions and candidates aren’t prepped beforehand. All candidates will be given $350,000 from public monies to run for office. That’s it. Use the money wisely. Or go on a really fabulous cruise.
13) Any candidate running for office must have served in the military. And not as a cook. He or she must have seen real combat for at least 6 months (trips to the Bronx or Baltimore City don’t count). If you’re going to have the power to send our nation’s young men and women into war, you should have seen a little of it yourself (not just played the video game or rented the movie).
14) Every May 15th, elected officials have to defend their records thus far. Those found lacking by a majority of constituents are removed from office and must buy all their clothing at Walmart for 1 year. They will also be stripped naked and made to create a video apology for their failures that will be uploaded to youtube for all the world to see and scorn.
16)Supreme Court Justices no longer get lifetime gigs. After 15 years, they're gone. Poof. Not even the president of the country has job security; why should Justices? And on the topic of Justices, during the vetting/confirmation promise, questions about religion, political party affiliation, interracial or same-sex marriage, and sexual orientation are BANNED. The job of Supreme Court justices should be *just* to make sure that legislation suggested or passed by Congress and the president falls within the boundaries set by our U.S. Constitution. PERIOD. Let's go back to the job description of Justices being the determination of whether matters before the court pass the constitutional "smell test." Period. No more "appointing" presidents. No more deciding that corporations are people too (making it all too easy for foreign entities to exert untoward influence) and can make anonymous donations in infinite amounts to any candidate, in secrecy. By making positions on the highest Court lifetime positions, there is scant checks-and-balances on THEM. So limit the years that they can serve. By so doing, maybe we won't end up with a Supreme Court that, for the most part, looks a lot like it did decades ago--old white men who have long passed their shelf-life date.
UNENCUMBANT ACT OF 2011
The purpose of this act is to ensure that all voting citizens will be able to choose from a pool of candidates who exhibit common sense and stylish shoes, are well educated, rational, articulate, honest, well-coiffed, well-manicured, and just plain spiffy if solemn. (There are too many fugly people in Congress already. Don’t let any more in!) To assure all these requirements are met, from this day forward the following should become law of the land:
1) No one with the first name, maiden name, or surname of Bush, Kennedy, Kerry, Clinton, or Palin can run for higher office. Ever.
2) The name and person of Kenneth Starr shall be erased from mankind and history. So let it be written; so let it be done.
3) No candidate can have an income of more than $150,000 a year in the 10 years preceding running for office. It's about time the average American was actually represented BY an average American. All nominees must also have worked in the fast-food industry for at least 2 years at some point in their working career and have earned Employee Of The Month at least once during that time of employment.
4) All presidential candidates must be single and remain single while they serve. This way if the president wants to diddle someone with a cigar, it won't require 40 million dollars of taxpayer money to prove it. We might also be spared the hysterical ravings of the lunatic far left and far right who tout “family values” with one hand and fondle their or someone else's genitals with the other. It might also help keep certain members of Congress's legs in their *own* bathroom stall when they need to make use of public restroom facilities. Or deter them from going on 'weekenders' to South America while the rest of the state they supposedly represent wonders where the hell their representative IS.
5) Anyone running on a platform of “family values” or “traditional values” is immediately disqualified. Then stoned to death.
6) All candidates will be required to take a world geography and a spelling test.
7) Candidates will admit they inhaled. Often.
8) Everyone serving in the House, Senate, and White House must supply their own transportation and pay for their own vehicle, its maintenance, and gasoline usage. They'll be provided vouchers if they use public transportation. They must fly coach or business class, and have to stay at Holiday Inns when traveling domestically and in hostels when traveling abroad. They must pay for their own meals and the meals of special interests toadying up to them.
9) All lobbyists and special interest groups will be given 90 days to chose a new career path, after which time they will be burned at the stake or sent to North Korea.
10) All political parties will be abolished. No more Democrats, No more Republicans. No more Tea Party Patriots, No more Libertarians, Civiltarians, Vegetarians, Greenians, Martians, Lilliputians, or Rastafarians (well, maybe we'll keep Rastafarians). No more bullshit. Candidates run on their own merits with their own best ideas for their country’s betterment, not their party’s.
11) Taxes cannot be raised until 75% of the voting public agrees on the taxation, and those taxes can only be used to meet the needs of transportation, health, public safety (which includes police, fire, hospital), infrastructure, education, housing, and footwear. All social programs will be funded solely by voluntary taxation. You get to choose where your tax dollars go. No longer will you be forced to help pay for a billion-dollar bridge to nowhere or Donald Trump’s next bankruptcy.
12) All private and public contributions to all candidates will be banned forever. Candidates will be given 7 free airtime dates, an hour in length for each, on both network and cable news stations. The final 5 candidates will engage in 3 televised debates in which average citizens ask the questions and candidates aren’t prepped beforehand. All candidates will be given $350,000 from public monies to run for office. That’s it. Use the money wisely. Or go on a really fabulous cruise.
13) Any candidate running for office must have served in the military. And not as a cook. He or she must have seen real combat for at least 6 months (trips to the Bronx or Baltimore City don’t count). If you’re going to have the power to send our nation’s young men and women into war, you should have seen a little of it yourself (not just played the video game or rented the movie).
14) Every May 15th, elected officials have to defend their records thus far. Those found lacking by a majority of constituents are removed from office and must buy all their clothing at Walmart for 1 year. They will also be stripped naked and made to create a video apology for their failures that will be uploaded to youtube for all the world to see and scorn.
16)Supreme Court Justices no longer get lifetime gigs. After 15 years, they're gone. Poof. Not even the president of the country has job security; why should Justices? And on the topic of Justices, during the vetting/confirmation promise, questions about religion, political party affiliation, interracial or same-sex marriage, and sexual orientation are BANNED. The job of Supreme Court justices should be *just* to make sure that legislation suggested or passed by Congress and the president falls within the boundaries set by our U.S. Constitution. PERIOD. Let's go back to the job description of Justices being the determination of whether matters before the court pass the constitutional "smell test." Period. No more "appointing" presidents. No more deciding that corporations are people too (making it all too easy for foreign entities to exert untoward influence) and can make anonymous donations in infinite amounts to any candidate, in secrecy. By making positions on the highest Court lifetime positions, there is scant checks-and-balances on THEM. So limit the years that they can serve. By so doing, maybe we won't end up with a Supreme Court that, for the most part, looks a lot like it did decades ago--old white men who have long passed their shelf-life date.
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