Here's a thought. If you can't afford to have a child, and all that goes with it -- feeding it, clothing it, taking it to the doctor's, the dentist's, the eye doctor's, buying it school supplies, starting a college nest egg -- here's a novel idea: DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. Do you ever wonder how many bills have been passed to "protect" children all because parents can't do the jobs themselves? When is enough, enough? As a taxpayer, aren't you tired of your money going to irresponsible breeders? (And I'm not talking about parents whose main problem is they can't afford healthcare for their children. Equal and affordable access to healthcare is a whole other problem our government stubbornly ignores with the willfullness of a 3 year old.) I'm talking about single mothers, those who struggle paycheck to paycheck, those with low-paying jobs or no job who get pregnant and *then* wonder how they're going to support the child (if they think about that at all).
I say bring back the stigma of getting pregnant outside of wedlock at a young age. Bring back the stigma of needing public assistance. Maybe a little shame is a good thing if it keeps people from repeatedly feeding from the public trough. It's one thing to need assistance when you fall on hard times. No one can plan for a catastrophic illness or accident, or suddenly losing your job. You can and SHOULD plan to have and raise children. Considering the rate of population increase, just in this country alone in the last 30 years, apparently people give as much thought to reproduction as they do to defecation, which is damned little. I've grown weary of my taxes going up faster than a helium balloon to support or extend or create social programs for people who don't know any better and never will or just don't care.
And for those people in favor of their taxes being used for social assistance programs, that's great! Have at it. But let it be an individual taxpayer decision.
07 August 2007
01 August 2007
...you ask me for a contribution...
To help alleviate some of the pain that political elections cause the mind, body, soul, and digestion system every 2 or 4 years, I've decided that what we need in this country is An Every Incumbent Left Behind law. Because frankly, this town really does need an enema.
UNENCUMBANT ACT OF 2007
The purpose of this act is to ensure that all voting citizens will be able to choose from a pool of candidates who exhibit common sense and stylish shoes, are well educated, rational, articulate, honest, stutter-free, well-coifed, well-manicured, and just plain hot to look at. (There are too many fugly people in Congress already. Don’t let any more in!) To assure all these requirements are met, from this day forward the following become law:
1) No one with the first name, maiden name, or surname of Bush, Kennedy, Kerry, or Clinton can run for office. Ever.
2) The name and person of Kenneth Starr shall be erased from mankind and history. So let it be written; so let it be done.
3) No candidate can have an income of more than $150,000 a year in the 10 years preceding running for office. It's about time the average American was actually represented BY an average American. All nominees must also have worked in the fast-food industry for at least 2 years at some point in their working career and have earned Employee Of The Month at least once during that time of employment.
4) All presidential candidates must be single and remain single while they serve. This way if the president wants to diddle someone with a cigar, it won't require 40 million dollars of taxpayer money to prove it. We might also be spared the hysterical ravings of the lunatic far left and far right who tout “family values” with one hand and fondle their neighbor’s pet goat with the other.
5) Anyone running on a platform of “family values” or “traditional values” is immediately disqualified. Then stoned to death.
6) All candidates will be required to take a world geography and a spelling test and also prove they know the definition of “having sex”.
7) Candidates will admit they inhaled. Often.
8) Everyone serving in the House, Senate, and White House must supply their own transportation and pay for their own vehicle, its maintenance, and gasoline usage. They'll be provided vouchers if they use public transportation. They must fly coach or business class, and have to stay at Holiday Inns when traveling domestically and in hostels when traveling abroad. They must pay for their own meals and the meals of those toadying up to them.
9) All lobbyists and special interest groups will be given 90 days to chose a new career path, after which time they will be burned at the stake or sent to North Korea.
10) All political parties will be abolished. No more Democrats, No more Republicans. No more Libertarians, Civiltarians, Vegetarians, Greenians, Martians, Lilliputians, or Rastafarians. No more bullshit. Candidates run on their own merits with their own best ideas for their country’s betterment, not their party’s.
11) Taxes cannot be raised until 75% of the voting public agrees on the taxation, and those taxes can only be used to meet the needs of transportation, health, public safety (which includes police, fire, hospital), infrastructure, education, housing, and footwear. All social programs will be funded solely by voluntary taxation. You get to choose where your tax dollars go. No longer will you be forced to help pay for a billion-dollar bridge to nowhere or Donald Trump’s next bankruptcy.
12) All private and public contributions to all candidates will be banned forever. Candidates will be given 7 free airtime dates, an hour in length for each, on both network and cable news stations. The final 5 candidates will engage in 3 televised debates in which average citizens ask the questions and candidates aren’t prepped beforehand. All candidates will be given $350,000 from public monies to run for office. That’s it. Use the money wisely. Or go on a really fabulous cruise.
13) Any candidate running for office must have served in the military. And not as a cook. He or she must have seen real combat for at least 6 months (trips to the Bronx or Baltimore City don’t count). If you’re going to have the power to send our nation’s young men and women into war, you should have seen a little of it yourself (not just played the video game or rented the movie).
14) Every May 15th, elected officials have to defend their records thus far. Those found lacking by a majority of constituents are removed from office and must buy all their clothing at Walmart for 1 year. They will also be stripped naked and made to create a video apology for their failures that will be uploaded to youtube for all the world to see and scorn.
15) Send anyone from Swift Boat on a swift boat to hell.
16) January 1st will be declared national Jeff Probst Appreciation Day.
UNENCUMBANT ACT OF 2007
The purpose of this act is to ensure that all voting citizens will be able to choose from a pool of candidates who exhibit common sense and stylish shoes, are well educated, rational, articulate, honest, stutter-free, well-coifed, well-manicured, and just plain hot to look at. (There are too many fugly people in Congress already. Don’t let any more in!) To assure all these requirements are met, from this day forward the following become law:
1) No one with the first name, maiden name, or surname of Bush, Kennedy, Kerry, or Clinton can run for office. Ever.
2) The name and person of Kenneth Starr shall be erased from mankind and history. So let it be written; so let it be done.
3) No candidate can have an income of more than $150,000 a year in the 10 years preceding running for office. It's about time the average American was actually represented BY an average American. All nominees must also have worked in the fast-food industry for at least 2 years at some point in their working career and have earned Employee Of The Month at least once during that time of employment.
4) All presidential candidates must be single and remain single while they serve. This way if the president wants to diddle someone with a cigar, it won't require 40 million dollars of taxpayer money to prove it. We might also be spared the hysterical ravings of the lunatic far left and far right who tout “family values” with one hand and fondle their neighbor’s pet goat with the other.
5) Anyone running on a platform of “family values” or “traditional values” is immediately disqualified. Then stoned to death.
6) All candidates will be required to take a world geography and a spelling test and also prove they know the definition of “having sex”.
7) Candidates will admit they inhaled. Often.
8) Everyone serving in the House, Senate, and White House must supply their own transportation and pay for their own vehicle, its maintenance, and gasoline usage. They'll be provided vouchers if they use public transportation. They must fly coach or business class, and have to stay at Holiday Inns when traveling domestically and in hostels when traveling abroad. They must pay for their own meals and the meals of those toadying up to them.
9) All lobbyists and special interest groups will be given 90 days to chose a new career path, after which time they will be burned at the stake or sent to North Korea.
10) All political parties will be abolished. No more Democrats, No more Republicans. No more Libertarians, Civiltarians, Vegetarians, Greenians, Martians, Lilliputians, or Rastafarians. No more bullshit. Candidates run on their own merits with their own best ideas for their country’s betterment, not their party’s.
11) Taxes cannot be raised until 75% of the voting public agrees on the taxation, and those taxes can only be used to meet the needs of transportation, health, public safety (which includes police, fire, hospital), infrastructure, education, housing, and footwear. All social programs will be funded solely by voluntary taxation. You get to choose where your tax dollars go. No longer will you be forced to help pay for a billion-dollar bridge to nowhere or Donald Trump’s next bankruptcy.
12) All private and public contributions to all candidates will be banned forever. Candidates will be given 7 free airtime dates, an hour in length for each, on both network and cable news stations. The final 5 candidates will engage in 3 televised debates in which average citizens ask the questions and candidates aren’t prepped beforehand. All candidates will be given $350,000 from public monies to run for office. That’s it. Use the money wisely. Or go on a really fabulous cruise.
13) Any candidate running for office must have served in the military. And not as a cook. He or she must have seen real combat for at least 6 months (trips to the Bronx or Baltimore City don’t count). If you’re going to have the power to send our nation’s young men and women into war, you should have seen a little of it yourself (not just played the video game or rented the movie).
14) Every May 15th, elected officials have to defend their records thus far. Those found lacking by a majority of constituents are removed from office and must buy all their clothing at Walmart for 1 year. They will also be stripped naked and made to create a video apology for their failures that will be uploaded to youtube for all the world to see and scorn.
15) Send anyone from Swift Boat on a swift boat to hell.
16) January 1st will be declared national Jeff Probst Appreciation Day.
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